Reading is a subject that stresses out many homeschoolers, but it doesn't have to. Here is some encouragement to let go of the stress around teaching reading.
One Early Reader
Early in our homeschooling, I thought I had it all figured out on how to teach reading. My daughter Alina was an early reader; I started requiring her to do reading lessons when she was preschool age, and by the time she was 6-years-old she was reading at a 7th-grade-level and reading Charles Dickens in her spare time. I thought Alina's reading success was greatly aided by our reading lessons, and assumed that my son Ian would be reading early, too.
But yet. Ian's personality was totally different from his sister's. Whereas Alina was eager to please and malleable from a young age, Ian was... not. He never did anything that he did not want to do, period. I could never talk him into doing anything that he didn't want to do, and he would stick to his decision for eternity. Thank goodness he was naturally geared to make right choices and generally liked following rules!
If my son Ian had been the firstborn I would have given up homeschooling early on, because the techniques I originally used (such as rigid schedules and forced academics) would never have worked with him. Now I know that those techniques were flawed from the start, and I no longer force my children to do academics (instead focusing on fostering a love of learning combined with them taking ownership for their own educations).
But where did that leave my son Ian on his own journey to reading proficiency, as he reached 6, then 7, and even 8 years old, but still wasn't really reading?
Is Early Reading Actually Better?
In the years between teaching Alina and Ian to read, I became better-educated about the reading abilities of children. I learned that:
There is actually a very wide developmental age for learning to read. Some kids naturally learn to read at very young ages, but it is totally natural that some kids do not read until later, even until as late as 12 to 14 years old. Really!
When a child naturally has a developmental reading age that is older, it does not matter how much the child is urged and pushed to read while he is younger. The child will not really learn to read until he reaches his natural developmental age for reading.
The "late" readers generally end up being labeled as "slow" or "behind", when in fact they are not at all; they are just on their own developmental path and there is nothing wrong with them. And of course, that process of being told they are behind, of being pushed to do something they are actually not yet capable of doing, has a tremendously bad effect on children's self-confidence and their belief in their own ability to learn. I have observed several children who were "late-readers" who went to public school: these children were made to feel like there was something seriously wrong with them. Once they reached their natural developmental reading age they were able to read easily; all efforts before that just led to frustration, anxiety, and low self-confidence.
Each child is an individual who has her own developmental timetables and needs. It is totally normal and fine for a child to be a "late" reader. Often, a child who reads late will be more advanced in other areas. For instance, many "late" readers are more naturally attuned to mathematical concepts than to early reading. Neither "late" readers nor "early" readers are better or worse; they are just different.
There is no "right" way to teach reading. Some kids learn to read in the phonics approach (sounding out letters, then sounding out words) but others learn to read with the "whole word" method (where they basically just memorize what a word looks like rather than breaking it down into individual phonics sounds). Neither approach is better than the other.
Without any reading lessons at all, many kids will learn to read on their own when they reach their developmental age for reading if they are in a reading-rich environment (such as an environment where the parents are reading aloud to the child often). There is a good article about this here.
Were Alina's Reading Lessons Actually a Success?
Back when Alina was learning to read, I assumed my role was to be her teacher, who made sure she did her reading lessons and kept progressing. I pushed her to read just as I pushed her to do math and writing. She did learn to read early, but now I know that her early reading probably did not have much to do with my methods for teaching reading. She was just naturally a precocious reader.
In the end, my methods of pushing Alina to do academics actually backfired. She grew to think that schoolwork was akin to punishment, and to dislike math and writing specifically. She developed what John Gatto calls " provisional self-esteem": she came to believe that her own self-worth was related to how well she did academically and this lead her to become afraid of making any mistakes.
People learn much through mistakes, so a fear of making mistakes actually hinders growth over time. Alina's fear of making mistakes meant that she did not trust her own learning processes and intuition, and that she was afraid to try to figure things out on her own. Our relationship was suffering, too, because of our interactions surrounding school work.
It took Alina several years to recover from those negative lessons. For years, I could still see the shadow of those wrong lessons hanging over her at times.
Providing the Right Environment for Learning to Read
Given all I had learned, I needed to create a different environment for Ian as he learned to read. I now knew that my role was not to be his teacher who would force him to learn to read on some specific timetable.
By knowing that children can learn to read easily when they reach their own developmental age for reading, and by knowing that academic pushing can easily create a hate of learning in children, my own role in the process became clear: I needed to make sure the environment was right for Ian to learn to read and then just let the process unfold.
I created an environment that would help Ian learn to read by:
Reading aloud often, and making sure to read plenty of books that he found very engaging. This instilled in him the belief that books are worthwhile and that reading is enjoyable.
Reading my own books. The more a child sees their parents reading, the more they will want to read, too.
Trusting the process. Showing Ian that I have confidence that he could learn anything, and not allowing the process to become stressful, was an important aspect of providing the right environment for learning to read. I had to be careful to never give him the idea that he was "behind" in reading, and to let his own process for reading develop naturally.
Instilling in him a love for learning. Ian's love of learning was nurtured through being supported in following his own interests and passions, as well as through exposure to great books, ideas, art, and music. This helped Ian be open and free with his learning, so he could naturally love it.
Creating a home atmosphere where reading is a main form of entertainment. In our home, limiting screen time makes it possible for reading to be one of the top forms of entertainment every day of the week. In quiet moments, we naturally seek out books to enjoy singly or together.
Buying Ian books that support his interests. Ian loved adult-level encyclopedias about cars (which we can find easily at our local used-bookstore). Even though Ian was not actually reading those books, he regularly spent time poring over the pictures and built a habit of enjoying books.
Assisting Ian when he wanted help with reading. I let Ian lead out with determining when and how he wanted to do reading lessons. This underscored the fact that he was in charge of his own education, and allowed his reading lessons to become empowering rather than coerced.
Ian's Self-Directed Reading Lesson Schedule
When children are infused with the confidence that they can learn, and that their own interests/passions are important, they will take ownership of their own education. Every six months or so, I have homeschool mentoring conversations with each of my children, wherein we fill out a homeschool compass for the months ahead. During one of these conversations at age 7, Ian said that he wanted to start having reading lessons, because he wanted to be able to enjoy books like the rest of us.
Rather than me "making him" do reading lessons, I gave Ian the freedom to be in charge of the process. Ian likes to plan ahead, so he set a goal for himself to do two reading lessons per week, on Wednesday and Friday. With his naturally-structured nature, he made sure we did his two reading lessons each week. I could see that he was making some slow, incremental progress over time as he continued through being 7 and then 8 years old. Then his natural reading age kicked in and everything changed.
Ian Reached His Natural Reading Age at 8.5 Years Old
At around age 8&1/2, Ian suddenly started learning to read at an accelerated rate. His brain development had hit that magical milestone where it was ready to learn to read! I had worked hard to make sure Ian never felt like he was "behind", but instead worked on instilling confidence that he would learn to read easily once his brain was ready for it.
Just as I had witnessed with my daughter Alina, once Ian reached his natural reading milestone, he very quickly learned to read and progressed through ~5 grade levels in less than a year, almost effortlessly!
Want Some More Perspectives in Teaching Reading?
Check out these links for some more ideas to ponder regarding teaching kids to read:
Children Teach Themselves to Read from Psychology Today
The Reading Wars: Why Natural Learning Fails in Classrooms from Psychology Today
3 Kids, 3 Journeys to Reading from Simple Homeschool
On Waiting for Reading Readiness from Simple Homeschool
What has been your experience with teaching reading?
Links to Amazon are affiliate links. If you use these links, your price remains the same, but I earn a small commission. Thanks for supporting this site!
Comments